its funny what can inspire you.

you don't go on a site in nearly three years, and suddenly one august night, you spend three hours back on deviantart again, going through all your old stuff, old journal entries. laughing/cringing at how pathedic some of them were. oohh boy. don't even get me started.

its funny how, day by day, month by month, you don't really see yourself as getting older, when in fact, your changing so much.

flash back, right now, and read some of the stuff you wrote three years ago. read about some of the problems [or at least, at the time, you thought they were hugely massive heart-breaking soul-crushing problems that would destory your very existance] and realize how much they didn't matter, AT ALL, in the long run. look at me! im still alive! and not only that, i AM okay even though that boy back in the 10th grade didn't like me back! whoopiee!

its funny, now that you actually have real-life problems to worry about, how much a little piece of you wishes you could flash back to those days in grade 9 when your heart was breaking cause that one special boy didn't say hi to you in the hallway.

money worries and university worries and job worries and family worries and friend worries and boy worries and everything else worries. does it ever get any easier? im beginning to think not. and im sort of okay with that, actually.

its funny, now that you've graduated high school and you think your all grown up, how things, in some ways, are exactly the same as they were three years ago.

you still wonder if that boy you like likes you back. you still gossip with your friends. you still get in stupid little fights that really don't matter in the long run, but you stay mad at each other for months anyways. you still stay up way later than you should, even though you know by now that you should get to bed before two in the morning. you still put off cleaning your room, even though you're nearly an adult and you should know better.

its funny, how as you grow older, you change so much while staying exactly the same


wow, sorry, went off on a bit of a thing there.

anyways. im back. at least for tonight. we'll see if this is just a one-time thing or if this newly inspired spark in me decides to stick around for a while. i think it will. already have all these ideas and thoughts spreading through my brain. think it has something to do with the fact that high school is officially over and i've had no way to get out my 'creative juices' for the past two months.

what you can expect. hmm. well. don't really want to promise anything, cause you never know what'll happen. thinking of definitly posting some new photography though. im really on this photography kick right now. have a few shots in mind already im just itching to upload.
as for the poetry [if you could call my sad grade9 excuse for writing words that rhyme that]. heh. we'll see. sort of hate all my old stuff. was wanting to hit the 'delete all' button, but decided to keep most of them. part of my past and all this other sentimental crap, i don't know. i editted a few of them already, couldn't help myself. deleted a couple of the terrible ones too. we'll see if the others stick around or not. please don't judge me if you read any of those. it was young, foolish, and under the incorrect misconception that all poems had to rhyme. hahah. ohh well.

i think that's all for now. cleaned up and updated my profile and gallery and all that.
think im going to attempt to upload a couple photos now. and then..what's this. maybe write a poem or something? acckk. all these painkillers from my wisdom teeth removal must really be getting to my head.

night.